Monologue of Going Back Home (6TH MAY 2017)

01:41AM

supposed to be inside the bus in another four minutes, dont know where goes wrong, my bus will only came here in another one hour and half. abang kaunter tiket tengok resit aku, buat muke. tapi dye tak marah aku. so, means not my fault lah. means something wrong with the online system. haishh, bus dekat rompin and i am here in kuantan.booooo, pukul berape sampai ganu nie. silap-silap burn subuh. Nauzubillah! Heeee, pelik sangat ke aku duduk tulis sorang-sorang kat tepi nie. asal pak cik-pak cik teksi pandang ak semacam. i am not a freak pak cik. just trying to spent my time. in addition to that, i learnt a new fact that to be creative i should came out of the box and do something new and always carry a note with me everywhere. so, i am doing this right now. trying to became a new me without L.A.Z.Y word in my life anymore.

Agak-agak, sementara tunggu bas nie samapai, berape panjang karangan aku pagi-pagi buta nie. Biarkan. Let me be, nie dah lama kot aku asyik berangan nak buat journal. tapi asyik tak kesampaian. Malas dan tak ada mood. So, selagi ada mood buat sahaja. kekekekeke. Nanti boleh update kat blog. Yattaaa!

#need fresh air!! Asap-asap rokok menyelubungi persekitaran. Katakan Tidak pada rokok! Main jauh-jauh pak cik.

Its 2017, i am 24 years already. Bffa just got married a month ago. Hohohohoho. Of course aku pon turut sama gatal nak kahwin. But few minutes and then reality hit me hard. Dah bersedia ke? Berat tuh. Macam-macam perkara main layang-layang dalam kepala aku nie. Macam tak sanggup. Tanggungjawab tuh berat. Aku takut. Tapi kan, bila beritahu bffa, katanyer - habis tu sampai bilanya sedia tuh ada! Bila??  Dushhhh!!! Aku diam seribu bahasa. No answer! Agak-agak bila tuh? Kalau tanya aku lepas berapa bulan ready, sama jugak jawapan aku. Takut dan tak sedia.

My bffa answer knocked me down bila aku cakap aku redha jela. Redha tu betul, tapi ada usaha tak? Usaha tuh bukannya melayan mana-mana jer lelaki semata nak tahu mana satu bakal zauj tu, tapi penah tak berdoa moga bakal zauj aku muncul dan kalau betul rasa tak layak untuk mana-mana lelaki yang baik, doa mintak bakal zauj yang selayaknya dan mampu mebimbing. Aku terdiam lagi. Sungguh. She is right! I never prayed for the right man to come into my life. Apa yang aku buat cuma cemburu dan terus dan berterusan cakap aku tak layak dan belum bersedia.

Dear girls, please dont be too humble and put yourself to the lowest in front of a man. Every girls in this world could not be compared to any single wealth on this world. You are a whole lot more than that. Without you, man would never exist.Setiap perempuan dalam dunia ini akan jadi manusia yang di kagumi dan di hormati dalam dunia ini. Mother! Emak! Ibu! Ummi! etc. So Please! Dont be a disgrace to the woman's kind. Be proud of who you are.  😍


p/s: pkol 3.30 pagi baru bas sampai. Pkol 4 pagi baru bas bertolak. Bila cakap kat abang bas, lambatnya bas. Abang tuh cakap, lambat apa. Betul la bas pkol 3 pagi. sapa suruh beli tiket online. cuba pergi tengok jadual kat kaunter. mana ada bas pukul 1.45 pagi. Ermmmm, speechless. So, salah siapa nie? hmmmmmmm