I Joined a Japanese Class (9th May 2020)

Well, its official. Hahahaha. Been looking over few japanese classes already. Tapi belum pernah decide lagi mane stu yang nak join. Then, suddenly malam ni. aku just prompt this one admin of a japanese sensei and his response is really fast. So, i just decided to join that class.

Ramai org selalu tanye aku. why japanese? hahaha. entah. aku pon tak tahu.

Well the best answer would be, just trying to spent my time well. Just a hobby. Or can say that im just trying to cross off another items from my bucket list. Yup!!!

Tapi aku rase ape yang paling buatkan aku terus nak continue learning japanese language is because of aku pernah belajar mase dekat U dulu and aku rase sangat rugi if not continuing it. I spent one and half year leaning it and im still not that good at it. So, why not completed it and be very good at it.

Hmmm, tetiber terpikir, why not put my bucket list here. Okay. Need to take note on that. Next entry, my bucket list. Teheee~~~

Back to japanese language,  aku pun dah lupa macam mana aku boleh start belajar japanese. I think its kind of spontaneous. Maybe because of my personality too. Mase aku dekat U tu, semua orang sibuk nak belajar bahasa korea and mandarin mase discuss on which language should we take for our elective courses. Being someone called Rokiah, i always dont wanna do what others want to do at that time. Means, i dont like following the current trends. Hahahahaha

Even for musics, movies and appararels. I would always be the later one on liking it. Hahahahaha.

Can that be a reason too? Soo not related. I know~~~~

Stay Creative (1st May 2020)

Happy Labour day!!!

Tgh mngemas barang-barang lama. aku jumpa balik buku-buku doodling aku. Ader satu doodle nie, ak pernah buat dulu nak jadikan misi dengan visi hidup gitu. Tapi dh lame tak bukak, lupe plak. So here it is, aku share kt snie for my record purpose.

      Stay Creative 💕

1. Make lists!
2.  Carry a notebook everywhere.
3. Try free writing.
4. Get Away from computer.
5. Be otherworldly.
6. Quit beating yourself up.
7. Take breaks.
8. Drink Coffee/Tea
9. Know your root.
10. Listen to new musics.
11. Be open.
12. Surround yourself with creative people.
13. Get feedback.
14. Collaborate.
15. Dont give up.
16. Practice, Practice, Practice.
17. Allow yourself to make mistakes.
18. Go somewhere new.
19. Take risks.
20. Break the rules.
21. Do more of what makes you happy.
22. Dont force it.
23. Stop trying to be someone else's perfect.
24. Got an idea? Write it Down.
25. Clean your workspace.
26. Have fun!

I made this on 2017. Pretty much few month after i stopped doing all of  this. 😓

I need a great healing time. 😙

PKP, MCO and ME (29th April 2020)

Sekarang dah masuk fasa ke-4 pkp. Means aku dah berkurung dalam rumah nie dh lebih dari sebulan. I am soo bored. Working from home is not that great as i always imagine before. Lagi banyak kerja aku yang pending sebab tak boleh fully focused pon. Also aku rasakan aku banyak buang masa dengan streaming. Hahahaha. True. You named any drama and movie, for sure aku dah tengok.

Thats why, these few days, aku keep trying to do something else other than streaming. Aku throwback balik zaman belajar dulu, ape yang aku always buat and dreamed of doing it.

Here is the list.

1. Blogging 
So, thats why i am here. Latest update aku dekat sini on 2017 kot. That was long time ago. Even i think i can use, once upon a time ago. Hahahaha.

2. Editing Photos
Dari dulu lagi, aku nak blajar editing gambar nie. Selalu cuba dengan GIMP, tapi aku just doodle on paper the steps and end up forgetting it. So, im gonna make a real and better notes for me and being serious about it. Who knows, maybe i can make some incomes out of this.

3. Reading novels.
I used to loved novels soo much. Being a collector during my study years. Tapi sekarang dah tak de masa nak pikir semua tu. Before this i can spent hours to finish one novel because once i starts reading it i cant stop. But now ~~~

4. Cooking 
Dah cuba few resipi yang sblom nie ak just duduk tepi jer bile mak aku masak and just help a bit. Not bad actually ak masak. Hehehehehe. Housemate pun puji sedap. Tapi, housemate aku tu, tak pernah lagi dengar ada makanan yang tak sedap. Omg, what does this means? Hahahaha.

5. Knitting
Really wanna try out this one. Dah ader tgk videos. Barang pon dh survey. Tapi tak berani lagi nak order sebab takut kerja tak jalan nanti. Hahahaha. KIV first.

Thats it. For now. Lets see if pkp get extended again, what else i am going to do. Hahahaha.

Be Strong alls. Stay at Home.

Dear Intan Payung, Happy Birthday ( 12nd June 2017)

Dear Intan Payung ku yang dikasihi juga disayangi. Selamat menyambut Hari Kelahiran yang ke-24. Welcome to the Old World. Beza umur antara kau dengan aku cuma enam hari okay, Intan Payung.

SELAMAT HARI LAHIR AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY

Intan Payung atau nama sebenarnya adalah Nurul Ain Mohd Taufek. Tahun 2017, tahun ke empat aku kenal Intan Payung aku nie. Macam mana boleh jadi intan payung pun aku dah lupa. First meet in UPM. Never heard or bother with her existence before that. After I meet her, she became one of many person in my life that makes me strong and always cheer me up when I am in trouble. She know exactly who I am. She know my secrets. Hahahahahahaha. I am in trouble. Constantly! Memamg tak dapat nak nayakan dia nie. Kalau tak, here goes my secrets with nothing to the thin air. Jangan cari pasal dengan Intan Payung aku. Shes mine. mine only. Yeah! Im totally obsessed with her. Muahahahahaha.

Tahun nie, my intan payung ataupun miss chipsmore mengikut nama dalam contact phone aku makes me cried with her birthday wishes. Panjang dan padat. Buat ak terharu. Maybe next time aku bagi tengok wassap intan payung aku nie. So, intan payung. This is my wishes for you.

❤ Happy Birthday! Selamat Hari Lahir yang ke-24.
❤ Hope you will always got what you want in your life. Murah rezeki dan bahagia di samping keluarga dan orang tersayang esspecially me. hehehe
❤ Thanks for always be there with me walaupun kadang-kadang aku boleh jadi orang yang paling annoying dalam dunia nie. Thanks for bearing it! I Love You!
❤ Thanks for always lending me your arm time kau jalan sebelah aku. hehehe. Sorry, tabiat! Tapi, lengan ko paling best. Missed Your Lengan.
❤ Thanks sebab kau still nak kawan dengan aku walaupun aku boleh jadi tetibe moody giler and youre still sat beside me.
❤ Thanks sebab sudi jadi salah seorang kawan dalam dunia ni yang buat aku rasa aku tak keseorangan kat dunia ni.
❤ Hope that our friendship stay together for ever and after until jannah.


In short, thanks for being my friend. I lap u. kekekekekeke.

To Ain, I sayang u till jannah and i always prayed the best for all of my friends. Lets stay with each other walaupun kita dah susah nak berjumpa. Long distance relationship la katakan. I do miss you.


p/s: aku memang sengaja sakitkan hati kau cakap tak nak wish bday. hahahahahaha. special sket la camni sayang.

Monologue of Going Back Home (6TH MAY 2017)

01:41AM

supposed to be inside the bus in another four minutes, dont know where goes wrong, my bus will only came here in another one hour and half. abang kaunter tiket tengok resit aku, buat muke. tapi dye tak marah aku. so, means not my fault lah. means something wrong with the online system. haishh, bus dekat rompin and i am here in kuantan.booooo, pukul berape sampai ganu nie. silap-silap burn subuh. Nauzubillah! Heeee, pelik sangat ke aku duduk tulis sorang-sorang kat tepi nie. asal pak cik-pak cik teksi pandang ak semacam. i am not a freak pak cik. just trying to spent my time. in addition to that, i learnt a new fact that to be creative i should came out of the box and do something new and always carry a note with me everywhere. so, i am doing this right now. trying to became a new me without L.A.Z.Y word in my life anymore.

Agak-agak, sementara tunggu bas nie samapai, berape panjang karangan aku pagi-pagi buta nie. Biarkan. Let me be, nie dah lama kot aku asyik berangan nak buat journal. tapi asyik tak kesampaian. Malas dan tak ada mood. So, selagi ada mood buat sahaja. kekekekeke. Nanti boleh update kat blog. Yattaaa!

#need fresh air!! Asap-asap rokok menyelubungi persekitaran. Katakan Tidak pada rokok! Main jauh-jauh pak cik.

Its 2017, i am 24 years already. Bffa just got married a month ago. Hohohohoho. Of course aku pon turut sama gatal nak kahwin. But few minutes and then reality hit me hard. Dah bersedia ke? Berat tuh. Macam-macam perkara main layang-layang dalam kepala aku nie. Macam tak sanggup. Tanggungjawab tuh berat. Aku takut. Tapi kan, bila beritahu bffa, katanyer - habis tu sampai bilanya sedia tuh ada! Bila??  Dushhhh!!! Aku diam seribu bahasa. No answer! Agak-agak bila tuh? Kalau tanya aku lepas berapa bulan ready, sama jugak jawapan aku. Takut dan tak sedia.

My bffa answer knocked me down bila aku cakap aku redha jela. Redha tu betul, tapi ada usaha tak? Usaha tuh bukannya melayan mana-mana jer lelaki semata nak tahu mana satu bakal zauj tu, tapi penah tak berdoa moga bakal zauj aku muncul dan kalau betul rasa tak layak untuk mana-mana lelaki yang baik, doa mintak bakal zauj yang selayaknya dan mampu mebimbing. Aku terdiam lagi. Sungguh. She is right! I never prayed for the right man to come into my life. Apa yang aku buat cuma cemburu dan terus dan berterusan cakap aku tak layak dan belum bersedia.

Dear girls, please dont be too humble and put yourself to the lowest in front of a man. Every girls in this world could not be compared to any single wealth on this world. You are a whole lot more than that. Without you, man would never exist.Setiap perempuan dalam dunia ini akan jadi manusia yang di kagumi dan di hormati dalam dunia ini. Mother! Emak! Ibu! Ummi! etc. So Please! Dont be a disgrace to the woman's kind. Be proud of who you are.  😍


p/s: pkol 3.30 pagi baru bas sampai. Pkol 4 pagi baru bas bertolak. Bila cakap kat abang bas, lambatnya bas. Abang tuh cakap, lambat apa. Betul la bas pkol 3 pagi. sapa suruh beli tiket online. cuba pergi tengok jadual kat kaunter. mana ada bas pukul 1.45 pagi. Ermmmm, speechless. So, salah siapa nie? hmmmmmmm

marrying my bestfriend (16th June 2016)

how wonderful if that happen to me. i think i will be very grateful for the rest of my life. catching up with my bffa tonight got me thinking into this. its very awesome and amazing if i got married with my own bestfriend. unfortunately my current bffa only from the ladies. so i cannot got married to any of them. hahahahahahaha.

being a person called 'me', i tend to take a very long time before i open up like 90% wholeheartedly to someone. so, if he or she became my bestfriend that means that i already opened up to he or she at least 60%.

* dont know why but i am using numbers tonight in expressing things.

i think its a dream among the ladies to get married to their own bestfriend. i talked about this topic few times already with my girl friends. few disagree but others agreed with excitement and shiny bling bling eyes. just imagining makes us smiled and smirk all day lone.

being married to someone that already know who you are and understand each others like crazy. we can comfort each other like we used to in the past. fight and play along together like we used to be before we got married. omaigod, that is soooo honey cheese sweety cutie pie.

just writing about these things makes me smiling and smiling again and again and again. well, thats the best part of dreaming. it makes u happy.....

I AM TIRED (11st may 2016)

i am tired......
i am tired. i really am. will i ever get someone that will truly understand me and never leave me behind? someone that will accept me because of who i am. the real me. the one that will not keep pretending and smiled when being asked, are you okay?

are you okay?
yes..i am *smiled
i truly am *smiled again

なかない。。。。

THAT IS OKAY (11st May 2016)

not enough with just being an easy person, i tried my best to comfort others. then i realized, i got hurt more. looking back at those times that i stand by her side hoping that she could be the one that called friend for me. i did lots of things that crushed my own pride for her. i am not asking for more, i just  hoping that she can be there when i am sad and listen to my problems. that is okay if she cant do anything. she can just listen to me and help me take off just a little burden on my shoulder.

these few days make me thinks about tons of few things. i soothed her when shes in her own world. pulling her back here where she should be instead of get drowned by her own thought. i helped her. me. the strong me that would not get swayed just because other tried to push me away before. but right now, i became a weak person because of her.

at first, i was very comfortable being with her because i thought that i finally meet someone that know my feeling and understand me here. she did. i even open up to her. i told her everything that i never told anyone else here. i told her my secrets and she told me hers.

but being beside her, make me feel really small. i never did before. but i am now. shes got everything that she want in her life but she still did not realize that. how lucky she is. not like me. even if i did something. no one will recognize that. she smiled. everyone looked up to her. that is okay. that is hers. i should felt glad for her. i did. i really did. when others looked up at her i just smiled and happy for her and hoping that my life will became like that one day. and i smiled.

she know about what i felt right now. i told her few days ago. she does comfort me with few short words not like how i did when shes like that. that is okay. maybe shes not good at words. but she ignored me. she read my messages and ignored it. she should not because she knew that i am not feeling too good that day. i told her. i just hate her for being too selfish that day. she should never left me behind. she know i am not okay.

i held back and said that is okay. you are not that close to her actually. you just got some few same interest together. that is what make you and her stayed together these few months. you are the one that open up too fast and told everything to her. that is okay. it is not her fault.

and last night...

i cried.
alone.
thinking how stupid i am for opening up to fast.
for being an idiot that so full of herself.
for being too confident.
for being an easy girl.
for being weak.
for being me.
me.
me.
me.
me.

and things got awkward between us. i cant see her face anymore because it makes me remember that day. i avoided her. i do not know if she notices that. i just can not walked beside her. i can not talked like i always did to her. and things just got more awkward.....

i should never open up that easy...

かまわないんでください

How I Live My Life (9TH september 2015)

This how i live my life....

its all about me having fun with my life

HOW I OVERCAME MY ANGER? (2nd APRIL 2015)

URGHHHHH....

bangun pagi lambat. terlajak tidur. ok lagi. sakit kepala plak. ok fine. migrain. buat presentation. gerak kelas lambat. masuk kelas kalkulus lambat. tak paham pulak tu. waaaaaa. then, proceed with my day like always until i exploded with anger

im getting bored with asking easy question that supposed to be answered without thinking at all. aku cuma tanya 'kenapa tak nak makan?' . just say 'puasa'. susah sangat ke soalan aku. jawab jela. kalau tak nak jawab or maybe something disturbing you guys just give me a gesture. thats all i asked .

nampak macam hal kecik kan? not if, those scenario happen over and over again everyday. kesian orang yang jadi mangsa kemarahan aku hari ni. tapi maaflah. i do know how to get angry. having an expresionless face does not means i dont have any feeling at all. note that.

so, instead of getting angry at some else, i calmed myself first. macam mana? i just walked alone and ignore everything else. i keep telling myself its okay and take a deep breath

yup..

simple and easy. marahkan orang hanya buang masa aku. 

banyak lagi perkara penting yang perlu disettlekan dulu. 

i loves walking around. ahahaha.

it worked for me. berjalan seorang diri sambil perhatikan keadaan sekeliling.

relection session. 

then, i calmed down.... 

ITS ALREADY APRIL (31st MARCH 2015)

HI THERE...

sedar tak sedar dah masuk tahun baru. dah masuk bulan april pon.
masa berlalu macam tu sahaja. aku pon dah makin tua. hahaha. d
ah 22 tahun. aiyaaaa.
bak kata mak aku. dah boleh jadi mak orang.
uuuuuuuuu, bestnyer kahwin. nak3
ok..tergatal. maafkan saya

makin lama aku jadi student kat upm nie, makin banyak pengalaman yang aku dapat.
berguna jugak ler untuk masa depan aku.
and yeah, gaduh2 tu perkara biasa. stress pon sama.
aku lagi suka gaduh2 dekat u nie lagi compare to school.
group discussion proceed very well. thats was a real discussion.
not just being lazy and just accepting peoples opinion without thinking.

okay...post nie memang rubbish sikit. ahahaha
just trying to use my time wisely.
tatatatatata......

ain taufek (28th may 2014)

ak xtaw ler nak ckp ape psal dye nie.
annoying????
unpredictable??

stu je yg ak comfirm psal dye nie.
kne msuk skolah blik sbb

m=aim
awked=awkward

n bnyk lg perkataan yg dia salahgunakan.
mcm nie ler org melayu.
mcm mne melayu nk maj